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Ati says | |||
| I walk down halls of shattered light, Leaping, dashing, caught midflight. A cold mist - fear, seeps into my bones; I am lost, utterly alone. Beauty falls, gold sunlit rain. Raining on in mirth, tinged with pain. And at the end, my love waits for me... Waiting to see, to see what I can see. What do you guys think? It still needs some minor revisions, but I'm pretty happy with it. Any of you folks fany yourelf poets? |
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| Total Topic Karma: 34 | - More by this Author | |||
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p0ss says |
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| I like it alot. the halls, the mist, the rain, All absolutely gorgeous. "waiting to see, to see what i can see" puts me off a bit, maybe i am delivering it poorly. that line just catches in my mouth. |
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| - 12 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Yeah, I'm not happy with the last line either. I'll have a look at ti and see what I can doo with it. | ||||||
| - 12 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| How's this for an improved ending? And at the end, my love waits for me Radiant- sun-kissed clouds over stormy sea. |
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| - 12 February, 2007 | ||||||
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p0ss says |
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| perfect, she is gonna melt. | ||||||
| - 12 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| I certainly hope so. | ||||||
| - 12 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Admin Jawad says |
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| Oh dang Ati, that was sweet. My offer still stands, Will you marry me? lol. On a similar note, I have finished making that video I was telling you guys about. Have a look. I used Movie Maker, Adobe Auditions, FLV Player, and Replay Converter to make the vid  p.s) I might make the video private in a day or two. |
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| - 13 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Thanks. Nice video incidentally. | ||||||
| - 13 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Nadeem says |
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Wow, that's a lot of work. A little too public for my tastes, but praiseworthy nonetheless. Hopefully she'll be floored.  |
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| - 13 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Rathmaster says |
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| @ ati as far as your poems go, that wasnt the best. no offense, but you've written some gems in the past, and that isnt your best (you can write damn good poetry, even though i hate admitting it). still, it was a nice poem im not saying im mr ladykiller, because i can list several things more important to me than a girlfriend- dreaming about money, dreaming about games, playing games, jacking off, talking about playing games, and creeping girls out (which never ceases to be hilarious). @ admin its taking a while to load, ill look at it on youtube's website |
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| - 13 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Rathmaster says |
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| @ ati srry i was a bit too harsh its a damn good poem but you've written better, is the gist i meant. its not as if i could write better- most of what ive written was horror/sci-fi, most of which i never actually finished |
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| - 13 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scorcho says |
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| Nice poem, good imagery. On a similar note, I made this picture for..... Someone. |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Constantine says |
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| The video you have requested is not available. If you have recently uploaded this video, you may need to wait a few minutes for the video to process. Sorry Jawad  |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| @Rathmaster: I am going to take that as a rather rambling, unclear compliment. Scorcho: Mice picture. How did you make it? |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scorcho says |
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| Used a base picture, seperates the rose, applied some filters (glowing edges was the primary one) and made a background. I can't design stuff for crap from scratch but I've always been pretty reasonable with photo editing. |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Yeah, I'm not too great at drawing from scratch either, but I'm not bad at photo editing (see my avatar). | ||||||
| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Rathmaster says |
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| @ ati that cuz i was high @scorcho thats cool, which graphics program did you use? |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Admin Jawad says |
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| Hey Rathmaster, Hobs, thanks for pointing that out. YouTube made a slight change to its "embed" feature so I had to tweak the code. Let's try that again: It looks like Scorcho used Photoshop. Did you use the "Neon" effect and plaster it with charcol? |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scorcho says |
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| Nah, Neon didn't give me the look I was looking for, I toned down the levels to make the rose darker and applied the glowing edges filter which gave it the "neon" look. Then for the background I used a base blue and put some noise in there and I think I used the angled strokes filter to get the look of the background, and that was that. I may have done a couple other things. I'm very experimental when I do my stuff so I tend to forget some of the steps. | ||||||
| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Did you take the original photograph? | ||||||
| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scorcho says |
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| Nope, I'm a little pirate. | ||||||
| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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p0ss says |
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| so ati, how did it go down? did she dig your groove? or was she too much of a square jive turkey to get funky? |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Interesting way of putting it, but I won't know her reaction to it until Sunday, due to prevailing circumstances beyond my control. Ah well, good things come to those who wait. |
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| - 14 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Jim Jones says |
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| Here's my poem; I bent you over I took you hard I knocked you out And put you in my back yard. Happy Valentines day Love Jim Jones. |
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| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scott Peterson says |
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| Reading Jim's poem made me so hawt. I love you, Jim Jones! | ||||||
| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scorcho says |
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| Great, there's more of them... | ||||||
| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Oh god no. It's like an infestation of cochroaches. |
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| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scott Peterson says |
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| Scott Peterson is no cockroach. He is a manly fighter for truth, justice and the American way. |
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| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| More like a sub-standard slime mold. Now shall we all agree to ignore them/him? Good. in that case, we iwll pretend as though they don't say anything. starting now. |
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| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Hmph. Another empty post. That is odd... Admin, could we have something done about this? All these blank posts are annoying... |
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| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Admin Jawad says |
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| hmm, what blank posts. Ati, can you take a screenshot and upload them somewhere or maybe email me? [email protected] | ||||||
| - 15 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Scott Peterson says |
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| Ati believes he is being funny. Scott Peterson also finds this funny! Rejoyce in the hilarity! | ||||||
| - 16 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Rathmaster says |
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| there's an empty post right above this one!!! | ||||||
| - 16 February, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Incidentally Nadeem, She did like it... | ||||||
| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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 |
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| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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Nadeem says |
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| Good for you! |
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| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| Or at least, she blushed and smiled and thanked me, and didn't slap me, which I consider to be a victory on all counts... | ||||||
| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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Rathmaster says |
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| yeah, remember the smile that napoleon's date had when she was forced by her mom to go out with him, from the movie Napoleon Dynamite? |
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| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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Ati says |
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| oh do shut up... | ||||||
| - 02 March, 2007 | ||||||
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